A Prayer for Fierce Women

We live in a world in which it’s barely OK to want to be a powerful woman.

Yet there are those of us who are pulled to the depths, inspired by myths and archetypes of female strength and power; there are those of us who, when you ask “What kind of animal are you?” say wolves, hunting eagles, foxes, hawks — predators. 

We LIVE the question of how to be at ease with our power in a world that often denigrates or destroys strong women. And we see the evidence of that all around us, and plastered every day on the news.

As fierce women, we get shit for being aggressive, for intimidating others without meaning to, seeming “masculine” (god forbid a woman not act traditionally feminine) or getting called “bitches”.

We understand that there is often a high price to be paid for being a powerful woman.

A lot of us are told we should be softer, sweeter — that our hard edges drive people away. Sometimes the opposite is true, and the people in our lives really like our hard edges but can’t handle our hearts.

Especially with our lovers, we yearn to be able to let our guard down and to have an intimacy and passion where all parts of us are welcome. 

Fierce women are not invulnerable, though sometimes other people mistake us as such. In fact we can be deeply caring, affectionate, tender, goofy, compassionate, and vulnerable and we need connection and closeness as much as anyone else–it’s just balanced with a pragmatism and a certain “don’t fuck with me” vibe that often provides good protection in the world.

When you resist the wisdom of the wild, fierce parts of yourself, it can feel like something is wrong with you –like if you reveal who you truly are, no one will love you. Because you want things in life, and perhaps in sex, that other people don’t seem to want. Because you are wild in ways that other people find cool from afar, but challenging up close. 

And it FEELS like something is wrong with you when people tell you (implicitly or explicitly) that you’re too much and need to cut it out; when there are no road maps or role models for getting what you desire; when the things you want threaten the stability of your life and relationships.

It feels like something is wrong with you when the things you want hurt the people you love.

So maybe you lose yourself in people pleasing and trying to be something you’re not until the wisdom of your wild erotic self speaks to you in a voice you can’t ignore.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are right just the way you are, and you can be your whole self without compromising. Even if the people around you right now can’t handle it… Somewhere out there is a wolf pack waiting for you to take your place.

How do I stay true to my heart and go after the things I want without hurting people?
How do I honor my sexuality in a world filled with so much sexual violence and pain?
How do I live fully and freely as a woman who can own her power without apologizing?
How can I be fierce and strong and still vulnerable, tender and gentle?

I 100% believe in building strong, resilient communities of fierce women and in the healing power of coming together in sisterhood to do deep work on our sexuality.

To the fierce women out there: we see you. We love you. We believe in you.